Loyalty

So last night (I wrote this on Saturday) my friends and I were supposed to go to this Vietnamese restaurant to eat some pho.  This place has a buy 2, get 1 free deal for pho, which is good since there are three of us.  I was excited because I'm always up for eating pho; it's one of my favorite dishes.  So it was about 7:45 pm, and we were about to leave when Nick calls to tell me that Kevin sort of invited Frank, Tiffany, and Carmen.  Now, you're asking, "So what's the big deal?  Just more people, right?"  Uhhh...except for the fact that Tiffany and Carmen treat me terribly.

Tiffany usually just straight up ignores me.  No eye contact, no smile, no nothing.  Zip.  Nada.  Nil.  And I have no reason why.  One day she just stopped talking to me.  I never did anything to her or said anything about her.  Now Carmen, on the other hand, will talk to me occasionally.  However, she will never invite me to go anywhere.  Whenever she invites Nick and Kevin, she does it in front of my face.  She doesn't acknowledge my existence.  It's almost as if she thinks that Nick and Kevin are her friends and not mine.  She keeps trying to exclude me from my own friends.  Oh, and to top it off, she's in her late twenties yet she chooses to act like a child.  I just want to yell, "BE POLITE!  INVITE THEM WHEN I'M NOT THERE!"  Or accept that I'm friends with them and invite me too.

For some reason, my class is incredibly bent on excluding people, gossiping, and generally making others feel like crap.  There's no cooperative, inviting, warm environment.  It would be difficult to create one, but I think if it did come to realization, people would follow.  Maybe.

Lately, I've been really upset with my friend situation.  I've been crying and praying to God about my lack of friends.  I really wish that I had some girlfriends who genuinely follow God and will support and encourage me.  I want to be around some godly women that are kind, caring, considerate, and loyal.  Loyalty is so hugely important to me, if you can't tell by the title of this entry.  Loyalty implies trust.  Loyalty implies honesty.  Loyalty implies belief in the other person.  I miss having a group of girlfriends around me.  No, my experiences in the past have not always been good, but that doesn't stop me from desiring and hoping.  I try to think of all the reasons why God hasn't brought me these girls.  Maybe this desire is an alabaster box that I haven't broken at His feet.  Maybe God is trying to pull me closer to Him.  Maybe God is trying to teach me something.  I wish He would tell me what I need to do in order to get them.