Ok, so my oh-so-heartfelt endeavor to keep up with this blog has not been so great. Once my real rotations began, I just haven't had time to keep up with this. I have written some in my journal, and I don't know why I just don't write more. Just write more. I think it's something I need to do, but I don't do it. Sometimes I feel as if I'm not fully alive, and I understand that as long as I'm in this life, I won't be fully alive. God has made it so that we're never fully comfortable and at "home" here on this earth living this life. But sometimes I wonder if I'm just different. I read this article about the different types of sleepers, and one of the types was someone who almost doesn't feel the difference between reality and dreams. When I read that, I was just so like, "OMGOSH, that's me!" I really truly almost don't know the difference between real life and dreams. Sometimes I have really vivid dreams and sometimes my waking life is hazy like today. Today was a foggy day, the kind of day that makes you wonder if this is real.
Currently, I'm on my oncology rotation. It's pretty interesting, but I don't like the girl I'm doing this rotation with. She freaking hates me even though I've done nothing to her. Her best friend freaking hates me as well. Her best friend is freaking evil and is the gossip queen of our class. I really don't think she has genuinely kind bone in her body. Of course, she feigns kindness to garner the affections of certain people and to of course get what she wants. But is she selflessly, genuinely kind? NO. It's so bad that it makes me question the morality of anyone who gets close to her or thinks "she isn't that bad". Really? Really?? We just had our career fair, and this stupid girl freakin' ignored me. She thinks she's so chummy with everyone. I hate her uneven, honking voice. I hate her maliciousness. Anyway, I haven't been forced to deal with her so I'm not going to spend time thinking about her. Or the people who are supposed to be my friends but aren't loyal to me because they think this evil girl is "not that bad". I know division is something the Lord hates, but what is wrong with your friend showing a little loyalty? I'm not saying go ignore her or anything, but should my friend be hanging out with her? Playing tennis with her? Texting her like she's his friend? This girl that treats me like crap and who I've complained about numerous times should not be someone that my friend hangs out with or texts or calls.
Anyway, moving on. One good thing was that I kept seeing this really cute guy in the pharmacy. He works in administration. I'm not sure if he's a pharmacist, but dang he's cute. He held the door open for me, and I had the chance to really look at his face to see if he's cute, but I was self-conscious about my bloody eye. Darn. I still need to look for a ring too to make sure he's not taken. Ugh, but I'm leaving the VA. It's not as if this guy's going to make a move or anything. Maybe I should just introduce myself. Heehee.
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